My Promise To Jesus

This is actually the backstory for a character in an RPG campaign that never actually got played.

The first time I saw Jesus was in Reno.
The road there had been long and dry, and I’d wound up in in a joint that called itself an Irish pub or some shit like that. So there I was, downing another pint of what might have been some fancy Irish stuff, or it might have been Bud Light, when I notice that the guy sitting next to me is none other than the baddest fucker alive, Jesus Christ.
I asked if I could buy Him a pint, seeing that He’d died for my sins and all, and He accepted. We talked a bit about what’s good in life, and at some point He suggested we blow that joint and go find a titty bar.

I admit much of the night from that point on is a bit hazy. I have no idea what the place we found was called, or how much we drank, but I do remember a damn fine lapdance, and Jesus agreeing with me about the gas prices. All that’s really not important.

What’s important is the last thing He said to me, before I took a taxi to the motel I was staying at. He said, “Man, this world’s pretty fucked up, you know? And you just wait, it’s gonna get worse. But you know what? I ain’t gonna take it lying down. You with me?”

I didn’t really get what He was talking about, but of course I said yes, as momma didn’t raise someone who’d say no to Jesus. We went our different ways that night, and for a long time I didn’t really think much about what had been said.

Years later, when the zombies came, I remembered what Jesus had said and finally understood what he’d been talking about. The world’s gone to hell, but Jesus is somewhere out there, and He’s kicking serious zombie ass, make no mistake about it. And I’m doing my level best to follow his lead, because that’s what I promised that night in Reno.